i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Randomize
