marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Randomize
