he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
