I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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