Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
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