The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
