i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
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