Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
