he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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