my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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