Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
How's work?
Spinning.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Randomize
