I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Randomize
