smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
