We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
