I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
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