he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
