The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Randomize
