well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I have aggressive nipples.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Randomize