You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
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