Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Randomize