I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize
