I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
