Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Randomize
