Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Randomize
