Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
