I just made out with a guy for $7.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
