im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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