only if we run a train.
done.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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