playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Randomize
