Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
