Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Randomize
