He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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