the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
