one might say we're banned from that church
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Randomize
