i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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