Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Randomize
