i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
