happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Holy shit dude........stairs
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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