brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
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