the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
