We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Randomize
