thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Randomize
