i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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