it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
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