I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
