dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
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