the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize