Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
