I seem to have left my pride at pride
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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