theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize