i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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