I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Randomize
