just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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