i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
