I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
No I am not eating basil off your cock
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
