that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Randomize