Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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