bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
How does one acquire holy water?
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize