Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Drake has all the answers
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
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