Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
