She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Are we still banned from the library?
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Randomize
