Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
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