Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize