so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
