Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Randomize
