is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
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