i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Randomize
