it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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